The shock comes at the conscious and the unconscious level. At the conscious level is, What kind of God is this? Is this the God I believe in? Can I still believe in this God? We all know we have pictures of God, different pictures, and that those pictures aren't God -- that there's a difference between our pictures of God and whoever God is.
“Can I still believe in God?”, that question is what a lot of Christian think of when something bad happens and it really hard because you don’t know the answer. It like, what if what I believe and it turn out to be fake or what if I die and it just nothing to be seen or What if I come back into a form of a bird's or even worst, what if I don't believe and goes to hell. “Evil is something that, when you see it when you know it, it's intimate. It's almost sensual. That is why people who have been tortured know it by instinct. They don't need to be told what it is, and they may have a very hard time putting it into words. You know evil when you see one, people don’t have to tell you that it’s evil.
“The value of doubt is to keep you open to God’s revelations. If you don’t doubt, you don’t change. If you have to have finite answers to infinite questions, you’re not going to move.” - Madeleine L'Engle
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